FindSomeoneNow
by lemacd
Summary: February prompt: meet-cute **** modern AU/crackfic-y**** Maria's sister knows that Maria needs a bit of help when it comes to going out and finding her life, so she creates an online dating profile for her. Georg needs a new nanny for his seven children right away and is desperate enough to search for one online. Please, please give it a chance, thnx.
1. sea captain ISO one nanny for LTR

**This was written for the February prompt, to write a meet-cute for Georg and Maria. I honestly have no idea how long it will go, I can only promise there will be at least one more. After that, it really is anyone's guess. This is really different, _totally_ modern and _totally_ AU and pretty much a crackfic. Still, you should be able to see quite a bit of TSOM in there. Squint your eyes, tilt your head, hold your breath, whatever it takes...**

 **I'm dedicating this story to _gothicbutterfly95_ ; I failed in an epic way to give her a story for the exchange. I'm not sure she'd be into this kind of story, but if it amuses, gothicbutterfly95, this story is for you.**

Maria Rainer flew into the kitchen but pulled up short when she found her sister sitting calmly at the table with a glass of wine, flipping through a magazine. She looked at the clock over the sink in defeat. It was much later than she thought and it was clear her brother-in-law and nieces had already eaten dinner and cleaned up.

"Don't just stand there," Abigail said wearily, standing and waving at a chair. "I saved you some food." Maria dropped into a chair and said nothing, simply watched as she pulled a plate out of the oven and placed it in front of her. "The plate's hot."

Maria sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. "Maria not touch... plate hot. Hot baaaaaad." She ducked her head at her sister's scowl, bowed her head, whispered a quick grace and tucked in. She swallowed and looked up, feeling her sister's eyes on her. "I'm sorry."

"Where have you been?"

"Oh, you know," Maria said dismissively, lifting a smaller bite to her mouth. She chewed slowly.

"No," Abigail replied. "I don't know. I thought maybe you went to the animal shelter to help out, but Sophia hasn't seen you for days. I called all your friends, checked all the usual places. No Maria."

"Maybe you should have tried the unusual places," Maria laughed, causing her sister to finally crack a smile.

"Or maybe I could just tie a cowbell around your neck," she shot back in amusement before releasing a frustrated sigh. "This isn't funny, Maria. Tell me." Maria's shrugged as the fork dropped to the plate.

"I just went for a walk, that's all." Abigail continued to look at her skeptically. "I did! It was a beautiful day and I just wanted to enjoy it, you know? The sky was so blue, everything else was so green..."

"None of which explains why you didn't have your phone with you. You could have been hurt or lost, then what would you do? I can see it now. You, dead in a ditch and me losing my mind."

Maria frowned, picked up her fork and tried to eat again. Ever since their parents died when Maria was young, Abigail's sisterly concern shifted to constant maternal fussing, like it was her job. She was always giving advice about everything and always trying to keep her out of trouble, prompting Maria to give her the nickname 'Mother Abby'. "You worry too much. I'm a grown woman."

Abigail smiled at her with affection. "Yes, that's true. Which is why you need to hear what I am going to say." She took a deep breath and leaned closer. "I love you. I want to see you happy."

"I am happy! Are you kidding? I'm the happiest person you know! I'm the happiest person _I_ know!"

"Yes," Abigail mumbled. She tilted her head in thought, trying to come at the topic from a different angle. "What do you want, Maria? From life, I mean. What is your heart's desire?"

Maria sat back at the question. "Well, I... I don't know. I have everything I want. I have a home and family. What else could a person need?" Her face fell. "Did Frank say he wants me to go?"

"Oh no! No, Maria! Frank loves having you here," her sister insisted as she reached out and put her hand on her arm. "The girl's love you, too! We will always be your family, but... you need other people in your life, too. You need to meet different kinds of people, discover what you want to do, who you really are. Figure out your calling. Don't you long for adventure?"

"I suppose," Maria said lightly. "But I always thought I belong here."

Abigail shook her head. "There is so much more for you, my dear sister. Maybe someone special, your own family one day... you have so much to give the world and you're wasting it all by hanging around here."

"It sounds like you're trying to get rid of me," Maria muttered before shoving the last bite in her mouth and standing and taking her plate to the sink.

"Never," Abigail shook her head. "I'm always here for you. But something has to change, Maria, and I only want to help." She watched her sister flit between the pantry and the refrigerator for an apple, a jar of peanut butter and carton of milk that was nearly empty. "Maria?" Maria tucked everything under her arm and headed toward the stairs. "Maria!"

"What? I'm still hungry," Maria smiled, then her shoulders dropped and she gave her sister a loving but tired smile. "Look, if you think something has to change, then go ahead and change it. I'll be in my room."

Abigail sighed. She had to admit it was the longest she had been able to get Maria to stay and listen to anything she had to say. Still, the girl was impossible! It wasn't so much that she was lazy or lacked ambition. She was the first person to pitch in or lend a hand. The problem with Maria was that she wouldn't dare to dream of her own future beyond what she had. She was blissfully content, but it pained Abigail to see someone with such a bold and wild spirit just... settle.

Enough was enough. Maria practically dared her to do something about it and even though she wouldn't like it, the girl needed a good shove out into the world to see that her future was not living the life of a nun in her sister's house.

Abigail poured herself some more wine, smoothed the skirt of her dress and made her way to the living room where her laptop sat on the coffee table. A minute later she was staring at the blinking cursor in the browser just waiting...

"Ok, Maria," she said as she glanced around to make sure she was alone. "Change and adventure, coming right up." Her fingers flew across the keys before she could chicken out.

 _FindSomeoneNow dot com_

She tossed back the rest of the wine. Creating a profile on a dating website wasn't a shove. Maria would more likely see it as a drop kick off a cliff.

M&G&M&G&M&G

Max Detweiler swirled the ice around in his drink while flipping through his phone, waiting patiently for the housekeeper to finish dressing down his friend.

"I'm telling you, Captain, you'll be looking for a new housekeeper and cook as well as a new nanny if you don't find someone to mind those children soon," the irate woman warned for the third time that day.

"Frau Schmidt, I assure you, I've called and expect the name of our new nanny by afternoon," Georg answered slowly to calm the housekeeper down. He stood from behind the large library desk, gradually making his way to the door. "Now, please tell cook the good news, hmm?" The housekeeper made her way briskly by him but stopped before leaving.

"Captain, I don't mean to be insensitive to your grief. I adore your children, I've known them since they were born." The older woman lowered her voice and looked at him with what he thought was pity. "But the poor dears don't need a nanny, they need a mother. And their father."

"They had a mother," he answered evenly.

"They still have a father," she nodded and then turned to leave. Georg pondered her words as he closed the door behind her and then quickly turned back to his friend.

"I don't know what I'm going to do, Max," he said as he paced back and forth. "Where am I going to find a nanny by this afternoon?

"I thought you said-"

"I lied," Georg muttered. "Well, I didn't lie exactly, I did call all the agency but they hung up on me. In fact, all the agencies I've used in the past refused to help me."

Max gave a small laugh. "Good lord, exactly how many of their nannies have your darlings driven to early retirement?" Georg scowled.

"Ten," he answered begrudgingly, then he winced. "Eleven, if you count the the last one, she left after two hours. I don't know what to do."

"Maybe Frau Schmidt is right, maybe you should consider finding them a new mother." Max held up his hands defensively. "Now, now, Georg, before you get all bent out of shape, hear me out. I'm not suggesting that you forget Agathe or what she meant to you. I wouldn't and you couldn't. But for the sake of your children, can't you at least consider finding someone? I'm not talking about a grand love affair, but someone you can get along with, keep you from wallowing in perpetual loneliness. I mean, you'll always have me but my charms only go so far, you know."

Georg ran his hand across his face. "What do you suggest? How does one go about meeting women who are hoping to meet a man with seven wild children and nothing to offer except _warm fondness_?"

"No, that's not a very good pick-up line for a party," his friend smirked. "But that kind of bluntness might work online." Georg let out a shocked laugh.

"You did _not_ just suggest I try one of those online dating things." Georg shook his head dismissively. "I'm not looking for a wife anyway. I need a nanny."

"You can find them online, too. Everything is done online. Banking, shopping... you name it."

"Fine, fine, I'm desperate." Georg moved to the computer on his desk and moved the mouse to bring it to life. "Uh, so how do I do this?" Max shook his head in amusement which only exasperated Georg more. "Fine, genius, you are so internet savvy, why don't you come here and show me how easy it is!"

Max heaved a sigh and moved toward the desk, waving Georg out of his chair. "Honestly, it's not like I have a clue where to start looking for domestic help. Nannies4U dot com? RugRatRanglers dot net?" At that moment a loud crash could be heard from somewhere outside the library door followed by a loud screech and what sounded like Louisa hollering that something, a creepy crawly something no doubt, got away.

"I don't care, just find someone now!"

Max muttered as he began to type. "Fine. You got it. FindSomeoneNow dot com..." He ceremoniously raised his index finger and hit the 'enter' key. He squinted as the page loaded, more than surprised that the site actually existed. The screen asked if he was looking for someone male or female. "Uh, hold on..."

Georg peered quickly over his friend's shoulder. "Well, female, of course. Not that I'm prejudiced. Just old fashioned."

"You don't say," Max mumbled to himself. "But, Georg, this is not-"

"Please, Max, for once in your life, be helpful." Georg returned to pacing. "So, anything?"

Max sighed and continued on with the website. If his oldest and dearest friend didn't want to know that they had unwittingly stumbled on a dating website, so be it. He'd enjoy the joke for a while and let him off the hook before it got too far. "Ok, here's one. Maria Rainer, age 22... ah, a local girl." Once again, Georg crouched over his shoulder to have a look.

"Hmmm, she's awfully young," Georg said doubtfully. "Then again, the veterans I've hired in the past weren't exactly up to the task. Perhaps youth would be an advantage."

"Sure, sure," Max agreed. "She's pretty, too." Georg looked at the profile picture again.

"I suppose," he mused. "What does it say about her?"

"Let's see," Max scrolled down a bit. "It says here that she likes daffodils, green meadows, skies full of stars..."

"What? I'm talking about her qualifications."

"Oh, well, not much I'm afraid," Max said, bracing himself to finally admit the truth, that he's been wasting his friend's time for the last few minutes. Suddenly another loud bang and a child's piercing cry rang throughout the house. Suddenly honesty seemed like a very bad idea. "It looks like there are children in her profile picture. Cropped out, of course, but I would say the are children. The, uh, tops of their heads seem... happy."

"Well, it's not much. Maybe we should try the next-"

"Captain!" The door flew open and a frazzled housekeeper marched straight to his desk and deposited the latest victim of his children's pranks, a broken planter with a rather sad looking ficus. "I do believe we have reached critical mass."

"I told you I found someone, didn't I? I'll get her here as soon as I hear from her today."

The harried woman stepped closer, her eyes bulging and her jaw clenched tightly. "A name, Captain. I want a name so I know you aren't just trying to brush the matter off."

"Now, Frau Schmidt," Georg raised his hand defensively. "I told you I found someone and-"

"A name!"

"Fine, fine! Uh," he quickly looked at the computer screen and then turned back with a smile. "Rainer. Maria Rainer. Local girl, quite lovely. The outdoors-y type, you'll love her."

"Wonderful," Frau Schmidt said as she exhaled. "I look forward to meeting her very soon." And with that she turned on her heels and marched back out.

"Uh, Frau Schmidt, you forgot-" The door slammed behind her. "- the plant." Georg looked at the mess and sighed. "Well, that's that. How do I contact this person and beg her to come?"

"Georg, I have to tell you-"

"There! Her email address! Move, Max. I can do this part myself." Georg gave his friend a shove and dropped into the chair and started to click away. He sat back and stared at the blank email screen. "How do I sound desperate and not scare her away?"

"Georg, just wait, there's something you don't know," Max begged. "This site is-"

"A godsend," Georg said with a smile. "How about this; Dear Fraulein, I found your profile today. I have been searching for a long time and am quite positive that you are the one I need. Your inexperience is admittedly cause for some concern but I believe your youth coupled with the discipline I bring from my military back ground holds amazing possibility for success. I'm certainly willing to give it a try. I look forward to hearing from you soon, in fact the sooner the better."

He looked up to see his friend pinching the bridge of his nose. "Oh, my friend..."

"Should I mention compensation in the email or-"

"NO!" Max cried out. "No, you should definitely leave that part out."

"Ok, then I'll send it...," he hit the send button and smiled, breathing a sigh of relief. "There. All I need to do is wait to hear back."

Max turned with a groan. "And all I need is another drink."

 _TBC (because I am pretty sure they need to actually meet in a meet-cute)..._


	2. Ambiguity is the devil's volleyball

**A short update... the next part is going to be a bit trickier and so I thought I'd give you what I have so far. Thanks for all the encouraging reviews! It really helped me push on. I have a few ideas how the next part is going to go but after that, I'm flying blind. Feedback helps so much.**

 **I don't own The Sound of Music. I don't own the characters. I'm not making a cent off this. Please don't sue me.**

Abigail sat in the kitchen staring at the laptop, her leg nervously bouncing as she worked up the nerve to face her sister. She looked up when Maria bounded into the kitchen.

"Frank said you wanted to see me?"

"Um, yeah... sit down. I need to tell you something." She took a deep breath. "Do you remember yesterday when we had that talk about... you know, adventure and, uh, finding your life?"

Maria groaned. "Oh, that." She pulled a mug out of the cupboard and reached for the coffee pot. "Look, I know you think I'm aimless and I know I cause you a lot of worry, but I'm trying. Really, I am."

"I know, it's not that exactly," her sister said. Maria eyed her carefully. It wasn't like Abigail to be less than direct. "You said that if I thought something needed to change that I should change it. Well..." Maria lowered herself into the chair, her face frozen with concern. "I did something. I, uh... I made a profile for you on a dating website."

"You what?!"

"It was impulsive and probably a bit over the top," Abigail admitted. "But I didn't know what else to do! If I couldn't convince you to go out into the world, I thought maybe I could, you know, bring the world to you."

"Well, delete it! Delete it before anyone sees it!" Maria pointed at the computer like it was the devil. Her could feel her heart beating hard against her chest.

"I can't," the older woman said quietly. "It's been seen. In fact, I got a message today. There's a man who wants to meet you." Maria gasped. "Quite eagerly, I might add."

"Oh, Abby, please tell me this is a joke!" Maria grumbled, her face falling into her hands but only briefly. Her head shot up as she stared at her sister with a look of sheer horror. "Those sites are for losers! You think I'm a loser!"

"I'm not calling anyone a loser!" Abigail took another deep breath. "He's a good man, a brave one. Look." She turned the laptop around and waited. Maria crossed her arms pretending not to look. "I googled him and found out all kinds of things. He was an officer in the Navy, a decorated one. I mean, the internet was full of articles about the medals they gave him. Big medals, important medals. He's a hero- wait, what are you doing?" Maria pulled the laptop closer.

"I want to see for myself." She hit a few keys and sat back. "Oh." She read for a few moments. "It's an obituary. How sad, he was married. A young widower. How very sad." Abigail winced a bit at her choice of the word _young_. Sure, the man was young to be widowed, but there was clearly an age difference and she hoped to avoid it until she convinced Maria to give him a chance.

"Yes, I read that. It is sad, but it was a few years ago and clearly he must be ready to-"

"SEVEN!" Maria jumped from her seat and pointed at the screen. "He has seven children!"

"You love children!"

"Yes, but SEVEN!" Maria threw her hands into her hair and stared at her sister in disbelief for a brief second before slamming the laptop closed. She shook her head. "This is insane. You're off your nut!"

"Ok, ok, maybe it is a little bit crazy but... can you put the crazy details aside and just think about the nice part? This man is interested in meeting you! Don't you even want to know what he said?"

Maria dropped back into the chair and crossed her arms in a huff. A few moments later she looked at her sister who grinned and nodded toward the laptop. Again Maria tossed her head away in utter disgust. Abigail waited. Maria was nothing if not curious. It was only a matter of time.

"Ohhh fine," she moaned, finally opening the computer again. "What did the handsome sea captain have to say?"

"Handsome?"

"I said sea captain..."

"You said handsome!"

Maria blushed. "Just... tell me what he said." Abigail beamed as she pulled up the email and gave Maria a few moments to read it for herself. " _I've been searching for a long time... you're the one I need._ That's not at all creepy," she said sarcastically. Her eyes bugged at the rest. "Oh. I get it. I see why you like him. He used the 'D' word." Abigail shrugged but didn't deny it.

"So what? He's disciplined and you're... not. You'll balance each other," she said. "Opposites attract and all that. And if you happen to gain a bit of focus and direction by association, well? Won't he be the lucky one?"

"Hmmm," Maria said, then rolled her eyes at the look of excited anticipation on Abigail's face. "You do know that meeting strangers from the internet is the first rule in the Creeper's Guide to Being Buried in Someone's Basement, right?"

"He's a captain with seven children, what so creepy about that?" Abigail fell back in her chair in frustration. "Just give it a chance, Maria. Please?"

Maria let out a long groan before relenting. "Fine, I'll answer him. But with one condition."

"Name it!"

"Once this disastrous idea blows up- and it will- you will delete that profile and consult with me before you move forward with whatever else you've been plotting for me."

"Oh!" Abigail clapped her hands together with excitement. "That's a deal."

"I'm only doing this to prove a point, you know."

"I know."

"And you promise!"

"I do," Abigail squealed. "Oh, this is going to be fun! You should answer him right away. He was very eager to hear from you." Maria sighed and for a quick second thought that maybe she should let Abigail do it for her. After all, it was all her idea. Instead she nodded and picked up the laptop.

"May as well get this over with," she said aloud as she typed away furiously at first and then slowly came to a stop. She looked at her sister like she was bothered about something.

"What? What's the matter?" Abigail asked.

"Nothing," Maria answered lightly. "I was just wondering, that's all." Abigail raised her eyebrow and waited. "There was only one reply? That's it? Maybe I am a loser."

Abigail laughed. "It only takes one, dear sister. Have confidence."

M&G&M&G&M&G

Max watched his friend wear out a path in the carpet as he paced by the computer waiting for a reply to his email. He could understand the feeling; he was just as nervous, still unable to bring himself to come clean about the website. But he was a self-admitted coward and like most cowards he had a tendency to act when only necessary.

"Maybe it's like watching water boil," he said, trying to distract Georg. "The more you stare at it, the longer it will take." Georg said nothing, simply nodded and continued to walk the floor. A few minutes later, the familiar email alert caused them both to jump.

Max leaned against the corner of the desk, waiting to hear how the unsuspecting Fraulein would respond. " _Dear Captain, thank you for your charming email..._ " Georg paused and looked up at Max. "Charming? Was I charming?"

"When are you not?" Max replied, nodding for him to continue.

" _It would be a delight to meet you, but since you think I need someone older and wiser telling me what to do, I will let you choose the time and place for this to happen..._ What a peculiar thing to say."

"You started it," Max laughed. "With your comments about her youth. She's got a bit of sass and I like it. She's a good match for you." Georg whipped his head around. "Er, for the children. A good match for the children. That's all I meant. For the children."

Georg continued to stare at his friend with a puzzled look but his mind soon returned to the matter at hand. "Well, this is a relief. Now I just have to get her here." He tapped his fingers against his lips. "I think I'll tell her to come tomorrow at her earliest convenience, and then-"

"I have an idea, why don't you invite her to come for dinner?" Max interrupted, hastily adding, "Uh, I mean, it's better to be more specific. You know what they say, ambiguity is the devil's volleyball."

"Who says that?"

Max shrugged. "Someone said it. I didn't make it up."

Georg rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and let out an impatient moan. "Fine. I'll tell her that dinner is served at eight and she should arrive sometime before then."

"Yes! That's perfect," Max smiled broadly as Georg typed away on the keyboard. A few clicks later and Max couldn't help but smile even more. He realized he was having fun. He knew there was a chance that he would pay for not stopping things sooner, but Georg never stayed mad at him for too long.

The truth was he wanted to see how far it would go, because for some reason, he had a feeling...

 _TBC_

 **A/N: That "ambiguity" line... I quoted Emo Philips (google him, it's an 80s thing). I say that line a lot. It makes me sound oh so clever.**


	3. Marta and her impeccable timing

**Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. Just borrowing.**

By the time the butler had shown her where to wait to meet the Captain, her nerves reached an all-time fever pitch. She jumped as she waited alone in the great hall when her phone began to buzz. It was Abby.

 _How's it going?_

 _I just got here. So nervous, you should see this place!_

 _Have confidence, just relax._

 _Yeah right. He has a butler!_

 _Butler? Oooh fancy! Can't wait to hear all about it ttyl bye xo_

Maria put her phone back in her handbag and used the remaining few moments alone to survey her surroundings. She took in the grand staircase and the enormous chandelier as she spun in place. Her eye caught her movement in a large mirror and she took the chance to look herself over once more before her mystery man presented himself. She wondered what she should do, shake his hand? Curtsy? She seemed to recall seeing all the high society beautiful people on that British drama program Abigail loved so much smacking kisses all over each others' cheeks.

 _Mwaaah! Mmmmwaah!_

"I beg your pardon, what are you doing?" Maria turned around, her face still frozen mid-mwah. She imagined she looked like a fish.

"Oh, I was just, um..." She fumbled over her words as she cautiously made her way across the great hall where the Captain was standing with another man who was struggling not to laugh. "I beg your pardon."

"Never mind," Georg said, quickly. "I'm Captain von Trapp. You must be Maria."

"I-I-I, uh, yes, I must," she stammered. She inspected the man up and down. "You don't look at all like all those pictures of you online, Captain." Then added quickly lest he take offense. "I mean that in a good way, of course."

"Well, you certainly look like yours," he stated flatly. Maria wondered if he meant _that_ in a good way. "In fact... turn around." Clearly he did not.

"What?" Maria looked at the other man who opened his mouth to speak, but Georg cut him off and twirled his hand in the air. 

"Turn, please." Maria complied, but was completely baffled. "It's your dress. It's too pretty."

"It's too what?!"

"It's too pretty and not at all practical. The children will probably-"

"Georg, she looks lovely," the other man interrupted in her defense. He turned to smile at Maria. "That color is very becoming on you. You must excuse the Captain here. He's been anxiously awaiting your arrival."

Maria nodded slowly but said nothing. So far she was not very impressed, but if he was indeed anxious, she would be willing to cut him some slack.

"Thank you, uh...," she said, her gaze flitting between the Captain and the other stranger.

"Oh, yes," Georg mumbled, feeling rather distracted by his friend's overt compliments. What was he up to? "This is Max Detweiller. I suppose you should be introduced since he is always here... eating my food, drinking my wine."

"I'm a very charming sponge," Max grinned with a wink, making her relax and smile. At least he was trying to keep things light and cheerful. The same could not be said for the Captain who paced the floor and wiggled his fingers like he had somewhere else he would rather be.

"Hmmm yes, well, enough about Max," Georg mumbled before turning back to Maria. "I suppose you'd like to meet the children. They're, um... somewhere."

"Meet the children? Already? Shouldn't we, um... at least get to know each other a little first?" Maria didn't have a lot of experience, practically none if she were honest. But she was pretty sure this was not at all normal protocol for a first date.

"Uhhh...," Max felt the first twinge of danger as Georg turned with his head tilted and lips pressed together, but then he nodded his approval of the idea. Max exhaled in relief.

"You mean, go over my expectations?"

Max winced. The twinge was back.

"I suppose," Maria said carefully. "Of course, I have expectations of my own."

"You do?"

"Why shouldn't I?"

Georg pulled himself to full height and opened his mouth with a witty retort, but he couldn't bring himself to speak. Never had he met such an impertinent nanny. And yet she stood before him with such an unassuming smile that spread clear into her big blue eyes. He was hard pressed to note any kind of disrespect in any of it. Finally his shoulders fell and he turned toward the stairs in resignation. "I'll just call the children."

With that he shoved two fingers in his mouth. Suddenly a shrill whistle blasted through the hall making Maria wince.

"Captain, I-"

Georg exhaled loudly and rolled his eyes. He had heard it all before, from his housekeeper to every feeble excuse for a nanny that stood in that very spot; whistling for the children sent a negative message. It told them they are to be treated no better than animals and therefore it was no wonder that they act the way they do. "Please spare me the lecture, Maria. Whistling is the only thing they can hear over the blaring volume of their music and video games. So while it maybe uncouth and insulting to the human race, it works."

"Are you finished?" she asked impatiently. She took a step closer, grabbed his hand and positioned the middle finger to touch this thumb. "I was merely going to suggest you try it this way. I find it produces much less spittle." She nodded at him, waving for him to give it a try. He was too stunned to move, but before anything else could be said or done they were interrupted by the thundering sound of feet pounding down the stairs. In a flash, they were swarmed by the children.

Seven pairs of eyes set on Maria. They weren't unfriendly, not exactly but she had an uneasy feeling that she was being sized-up. For what, she hadn't a clue but she did have the distinct feeling that it wasn't necessarily a good thing.

"Hello," she greeted them with a tentative smile. They greeted her back sweetly. Too sweetly.

"Now," Georg began, moving to stand in the middle of his brood. "This is Liesl, she's the oldest. Then there, Friedrich, Lousia, Kurt, Brigitta, Marta and finally, Gretl. Don't worry if you can't remember them all right away, I'm sure you'll-"

"Liesl, Friedrich, Lousia, Kurt, Brigitta, Marta and Gretl." Maria pointed to each child as she rattled off each name with ease, nodding proudly at herself when she was done.

"I'm very much impressed, Fraulein," Georg declared. The woman was proving to be a marvel and a mystery. Maria shrugged with a small laugh.

"Large friendly lions keep bringing me grapes," she said, counting each word on her fingers.

"I b-beg your pardon?"

"It's a mnemonic device," she explained happily. "Large friendly lions keep bringing me grapes... Liesl, Friedrich, Lousia, Kurt, Brigitta, Marta, Gretl. See? Not difficult at all, really."

"Brilliant!" Max exclaimed with applause. "I'll have to remember that myself. I've known them for years and I still get them confused."

The children were just as amused. All except little Marta, Maria noticed. The girl seemed a bit glassy-eyed and looked a bit pale, and yet she said nothing. Maria frowned with concern, unsure if it was her place to say something. She leaned toward Georg and put a hand on his arm. "Captain, I don't mean to cause any worry but do you think Marta looks a little unwell?"

Georg looked at his daughter and was about to reply when the housekeeper breezed in and greeted Maria with a hearty handshake. "Good evening, you must be Maria. I'm Frau Schmidt, the housekeeper. I can't tell you how glad I am you're here."

Maria was more than a little puzzled. "Really? Well, isn't that... nice."

"I had hoped to show you around but cook says that dinner is ready," the older woman continued. "It will have to wait until later, I'm afraid." Maria was surprised. Not that she wasn't interested in seeing the rest of the place, but it was an odd offer coming from the housekeeper.

"Oh, I'm sure the Captain will show me everything," Maria replied but her comment was met with stone silence from Frau Schmidt and the Captain. She tried again. "Or we'll just see where the night takes us." Everyone continued to look at her with blank expressions. What had she said? "Erm, would it be possible to use your bathroom? I'd like to wash my hands."

Minutes later she was in the grandest guest bathroom she had ever seen, trying not to panic, cursing her sister for getting her into such an odd situation. Her sister... she reached in her handbag and pulled out her phone and began texting.

 _This was a very bad idea._

She paced in a circle as she waited to see if her sister would answer. Less than a minute later she did.

 _Why, what happened?_

 _He's acting strange._

 _How strange?_

 _Like he's glad I'm here but wants nothing to do with me._

 _Maybe he's nervous? Hang in there, sorry bathtime gtg xo_

Maria slipped the phone into her bag and took a deep breath. If anyone should be nervous, she thought, it was she. She was the one facing a mob of new faces all at once. They were on his turf. He had every advantage for this first date. She resolved to make it through dinner and that was it.

She searched for and finally located the dining room, racing in as she was sure she had kept them all waiting. Sure enough, the entire family including Max Detweiller were seated in silence. She made her way to the only unoccupied chair which was at the far end of the long table (as far way from the only other adults, she noted with dismay).

She could feel the nerves start to wave through her belly again. She considered herself well-mannered and able to hold her own in most situations, but this was swanky. For one thing, there was more silver than she could possibly use in a day worth of meals. She was used to one fork, one spoon, one knife. An occasional spork. Chopsticks when Frank brought home take-out from Panda Palace.

The family didn't waste much time starting their meal once she sat down. Hardly anyone spoke, a massive difference from the chaotic dinners she shared with her sister's family. She was used to the constant chatter of her little nieces, the repeated pleas by Abigail to get them to be quiet long enough to eat while the food was still hot. The uncomfortable lack of interaction at present made her even miss Frank's dull recounting of his work day.

"Is there something wrong with your meal?" Maria look down the table to see Georg watching her with a strange kind of impatience.

"Oh, no, I was just...," she peered around the table at the others. The children chewed their food as they stared at her with curiosity. All, except little Marta who slowly shoved at her food with her fork. She looked as if she were about to cry. "Captain, I'm not sure but I think there might be something wrong with Marta."

He shook his head after barely checking on the child. "Pay her no mind, she's always a picky eater." He leaned toward his daughter and whispered something quickly, prompting the little girl to force a bite into her mouth. Maria wasn't so sure that was the problem.

"So, Captain," she began, hoping conversation would help ease the strange atmosphere that continued to linger over the entire table. "What made you decide to search the internet for... um, me?" Georg took a deep breath and shot Max a pointed look.

"I am afraid I was rather desperate," he answered bluntly. "I had tried the more traditional methods, I assure you, but none of those women seemed to have the courage or mettle to last more than a few months. After the eleventh one left screaming, my reputation in Salzburg was pretty much shot. I was forced to take my chances with that website."

"I'm sorry," Maria gulped down the food she was chewing. "Did you say _screaming_?" And what did he mean by _take my chances_?

"They had the nerve to blame it on the children," he continued, ignoring the question. "I ask you, do you think that's very fair?"

"Well, no, you have lovely children," Maria agreed as she squirmed uneasily in her seat. "Perhaps it was... you?" The children tried to suppress their amusement.

"Me? I don't see what you mean!" Georg dropped his utensils and leaned his forearms on the table, his hands clasped over this plate as he became quite serious. "I make my expectations quite clear from the start. It's very simple; discipline. It's all I ask and yet not one of your predecessors seemed to understand the meaning of the word. I trust you'll prove to be different than the others."

Maria quietly picked up the napkin from her lap and dabbed at the corners of her mouth, struggling to remain calm. _Of all the egotistical, pig-headed... jerk face_ , she thought angrily as she dropped it back onto the table. "I can't imagine why those women would run screaming! I mean, I'm practically swooning!"

"I'm not entirely sure I understand your point or your sarcasm," Georg snapped back.

"I'm sure there are a lot of things about me you'll never understand, Captain," she answered hotly. "But perhaps you can understand this; this night is over. Thank you for dinner, but I must be on my way."

"Now, wait just a minute! You can't just leave!" Georg stood to cut her off as she passed him at the head of the table. "You can't just quit without given it a fair chance!"

"I disagree, I think I should be given a medal for putting up with this-" Maria stopped at the sound of crying. She looked down from where she stood and saw little Marta furiously wiping tears away. It didn't go unnoticed by her father.

"Oh, what is the matter, Marta?" he demanded more than asked.

"Nothing."

Only it wasn't nothing. A second later, Marta heaved her entire first course all over her father. There was a moment of stunned silence and then all hell broke loose. Marta began to cry in earnest while the other children screamed and scampered as far away as they could get.

Maria grabbed a dinner napkin and quickly tended the poor girl who was shaking and sobbing in misery. She glanced at the Captain only to see him stare at what had happened in stark horror.

"Captain? Captain!" Her voice shook him out of his shock.

"Yes, well... I would say this dinner is over," he announced weakly. The other children didn't wait to be told twice and bolted from the room as quickly as they could. Maria continued to rub poor Marta's back while she waited for Georg to do something, anything, to help take care of the situation.

"Captain, your daughter just got sick," she said in frustration.

"I'm aware of that," he mumbled, as he back away.

"Well? Aren't you going to do something?"

"Yes, yes, I'm, uh... I'm going to go clean up." And with that, he turned and hurried from the dining room with out a single glance back. Maria's mouth hung open as she watched him. She was utterly appalled. She finally turned her attention to Marta.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry," the girl cried forlornly. "I-I didn't m-mean to do th-that!"

"I know, darling, it's all right," she hushed calmly. She scooped up the little girl in her arms and sat her on her lap. She brushed her fingers soothingly through Marta's long tresses and rocked her very, very gently. "If it's any consolation, it appears you have good aim and managed to get it all on your father." Then added under her breath, "I applaud you for that."

Marta calmed after a minute or two, closed her eyes and snuggled into Maria's embrace.

"I can't believe he just left her without anyone to take care of her!" She exclaimed, observing the child's flushed face. Such a sweet child, she thought warmly despite the anger towards the father bubbling up inside.

"He didn't." Maria looked up, surprised to see that Max was still there. "He left her with the nanny."

Maria scoffed. If there was a nanny to be seen... oh. "You mean... you're the nanny?" Even as she said it, it seemed ridiculous. But what did she know? These were modern times-

"No, my dear, you are the nanny," he said with an exhausted and somewhat apologetic smile. "I owe you an explanation. I only hope when you hear it you won't hate me. More importantly, I hope you won't hate Georg. I'm afraid your impression of him isn't very good, but in light of what I have to say, you'll see that it isn't entirely his fault."

And so he told her the entire tale, how he stumbled upon her profile, how Georg thought he was hiring a nanny, not setting up a first date. Maria let him tell it all as she connected the dots in her head. His email made more sense. His aloof demeanor when they met, while still unfriendly, was more appropriate than she initially believed.

"I tried to explain it all to him but he was only interested in getting you here right away," Max explained. "It was a joke at first, and then it went too far for me to stop it. I do apologize, Maria."

She shook her head in disbelief. "You let me make a total fool of myself," she accused. "He must think I'm the biggest idiot that he's ever met! How could you do that?"

Max leaned back in his chair and considered her for a moment. "Well, to be quite honest, I had hoped that- well, you see, ever since he lost his wife, he runs this house as if he's on one of his ships. Discipline, discipline, discipline. No singing, no laughing... I don't know. I guess I thought perhaps he didn't need a nanny so much as the chance to meet someone that could help him realize he was falling deeper and deeper into a very lonely life. Not to mention what it was doing to the children. I mean, I'm no expert but they don't need a nanny either. They need their father." Max shrugged and threw his hands up in defeat. "I'm truly sorry. I should never have let it go this far."

Maria closed her eyes and brought one had up to rub her temple. "Well, thank you for telling me, but think it would be a good idea if I leave before he returns. I don't think I could bear to look him in the face."

"Oh, but... don't you think that maybe you could stay? Please. The children still need a nanny."

"Oh, I couldn't possibly! I don't know anything about being a nanny! And from what I've heard, they aren't very keen on having one, either."

Max nodded. "Of course. I have no right to ask-"

"Please stay." A small voice startled them both. "I like you." Marta clung fiercely to her, and Maria felt her heart break just a little and before she knew it she was actually considering it.

"If I stay," she stated seriously. "I think we should keep this whole misunderstanding to ourselves. The idea that he would think I came here expecting romance..." She shifted Marta in her arms and squirmed uneasily. "...it would be too humiliating."

"Oh, of course! I'll not say a single word!" Max grinned in relief. "So you'll do it? You'll stay and be the nanny?" He had wiggled his way out of many predicaments in his day, but Max could hardly believe his luck this time. It was almost too good to be true.

"I didn't bring any of my things," she informed him.

"We can send for them. I'll do it personally."

"My sister is going to freak out."

"I'll explain everything. Leave it all to me."

"I must be crazy."

"You'll fit right in!"

Maria laughed out loud. She couldn't believe what she was about to do. She stood up carefully, turning Marta in her arms so she could carry her better. The child wrapped her arms around her and nestled soundly against her shoulder. She shook her head at Max and the absurdity of it all.

"Just show me where I can put this precious one to bed."

 _TBC..._

 _ **A/N: I'm not sure I like this chapter much, but if you did (or even if you didn't) please leave a word or two and tell me about it.**_


	4. little old lady who?

**Disclaimer: Not mine, don't own, et** c. D **rop me a review if you're so inclined, m'kay? Thanks.**

To Maria's surprise, Abigail took the strange turn of events quite well. At least that was the message from Max when he returned from his mission to explain and pick up her things. A few text messages and phone calls seemed to be enough to satisfy her sister that she wasn't being held against her will.

And thus began her career (or whatever it was) as a nanny.

Strangely enough, Marta's gastroenteric display at dinner was the best thing that could have happened as far as Maria's transition into her new job was concerned. The children quickly surmised that if projectile vomit didn't make the new nanny squirm, none of their usual tricks would either so their efforts to get her dismissed were quickly set aside. Then she won them easily with her good humor and warm kindness. They were even more impressed when she stood up to their father over his rigid rules about routine once or twice. She treated them like rational children instead of the crew of a ship. She was on their side which was a lot more than they could ever say about the other nannies.

After she heard a few of the tales of horror from the housekeeper, Maria suspected that the children only wanted some attention and would take it any way they could get it. Liesl, who was practically drowning the choppy waters of first love, was desperate for a sympathetic ear without meddling advice, something Maria was very willing to provide. Friedrich and Louisa could barely contain themselves when they found her guitar, begging to learn a new chord every day. She found a kindred spirit in Brigitta one day when they huddled together on the sofa and laughed themselves sick over cat videos on youtube. Marta and Gretl just wanted bedtime stories with funny voices. As for Kurt, well... God bless Kurt. A smile and a batch of Maria's famous triple fudge brownies and the boy practically proposed.

She had agreed to stay and so she was determined to make the best of it. And all in all the situation suited her quite well.

The only problem was her employer.

Not that he was ever around enough to actually be a problem. He was never around and yet he never seemed to leave the house. She ask the children, the housekeeper, even Max what the man did for a living and the answers were so vague and varied that she wondered if he even had an actual job.

All day. Every day. He holed himself up in his home office plotting world domination for all she knew.

Naturally, if he was home with only some dubious work to occupy his precious time, she had to wonder why he even needed a nanny. They were good kids, a bit energetic perhaps, but they got on well together and were incredibly easy to entertain. It seemed to her that if the Captain would spend time with them, give them the attention they craved and the affection they desperately wanted, there would be no need for a nanny at all.

She through that if she could make that happen, she could get on with her life. It might not be a very exciting or meaningful existence, according to her sister, but at least back home she wouldn't be pretending to be something she wasn't. At least... well, it was different at home, she thought. There she didn't pretend to be what she wasn't. It was more like waiting... waiting to find out who she was. Waiting to find the life she was meant to live.

M&G&M&G&M&G

One night a storm blew in shortly after dinner. The lights flickered a few times and then the villa was plunged into darkness. The whole house moaned as the harsh winds whipped about outside.

"Don't tell me you're frightened by a thunder storm!" Maria playfully chided the children as one by one they came screaming to her room.

"No, we're not scared," Louisa huffed. "There's no internet!" Maria laughed unsympathetically. She suspected that wasn't entirely the truth as they all screamed and jumped at the very next clap of thunder. She invited them in and told them to find a place to get comfortable while she found something to give them some light. The children looked at each other doubtfully at first then climbed up on the bed.

She rummaged around the top of her dresser for her cell phone and quickly activated it. "There's safety in numbers. I'm sure the storm will just pass on through," she said as she crawled into the pile and settled into the bluish circle of light with them. "Meanwhile, let's think of something we can do to pass the time. We could play a game, perhaps?"

"Like what?" one of the children asked, skeptically. "We can't see anything!"

"Would you like to sing?" Maria's suggestion was met with silent disinterest. "OK, no singing. Any other ideas?"

The older children glanced at each other and nodded in some unspoken agreement. "Tell us a ghost story!" Kurt requested eagerly. The younger children whimpered dramatically and then giggled.

"Oh, that might not be a good idea," Maria said, looking at each of their faces in the dim light. "Wouldn't you be afraid it will give you nightmares?"

"No," they replied together, then Brigitta added nervously, "Please? Just... not too scary." Marta and Gretl nodded their agreement.

"Very well," she sighed. She leaned in toward the children and began to tell the story with a serious whisper. "Let's see... I do remember a story my parents told me when I was little. It happened in the mountains where I grew up. I never saw anything, but my father insisted it was true.

"High on a hill lived a lonely goatherd. He loved his goats and it was a pretty good life, but it was also very... well, lonely. One day, as his goats roamed around the mountainside eating grass, he sat on a stone wall that overlooked the pretty little village in the valley below. He wondered if anyone down there even knew he existed. Naturally he wanted to find out, so he began to yodel. Nice and loud, lusty and clear... he just yodeled his heart out." At that, Maria brought her hand to her mouth and began to yodel into the shadowed corners of the room. The children laughed as she did.

"Then he listened. He heard nothing but the sound of the wind rushing down the mountainside. He tried again. And then he waited and listened again. Again, there was no answer. He tried a third time, and then he held his breath and waited, straining with all his might for any sign that he had been heard, that someone knew he was up on the mountain." Maria paused and looked around at all the wide-eyed faces staring back in anticipation. "Suddenly he heard it, the faint sound of someone yodeling back from the town below. Oh, he was so happy. So happy that he stood up and yodeled again. And again the voice answered. Soon the entire mountainside was echoing with the sounds of their voices yodeling back and forth. Men turned from their work to listen. Folks in the village shops and taverns stopped what they were doing, so mesmerized by the music filling the air.

"Whoever was yodeling back was getting louder and closer and then finally the lonely goatherd saw a girl climbing up the mountain as she yodeled. She was wearing a pale pink coat and he thought she was the prettiest thing he had ever seen. And indeed she was beautiful, as beautiful as her voice. They instantly fell in love and wanted to be married right away.

"The girl's mama approved, but made her daughter promise that she would return to the village to visit often. So, after they were married, every week she would go down into the village to see her mama and then return before nightfall, yodeling as she climbed the mountain to let her beloved know she was on her way. He would yodel back so she would know he was watching and waiting for her to come home." Maria paused a moment to catch her breath.

"How is this a ghost story?" asked Kurt making a sour face. "It's a mushy love story!"

"I'm not finished," Maria replied and a hush fell over the group once again. "One day the goatherd's wife was returning from one of those visits when weather took a horrible turn and the entire mountain was covered in a thick fog. The goatherd, worried that his dearest wife would get lost, stood by the stone wall with a lantern and yodeled into the darkness, hoping that his voice and the light would guide her home safely. He was relieved to hear her yodel back.

"Back and forth he would yodel to her and she would answer, but the fog became heavier and thicker. He never gave up yodeling in the hopes that she would finally make it to him safely. Minutes turned to hours and then... he yodeled for the hundredth time, his throat aching and raw but still he yodeled loud and clear... only there was no answer! No! It couldn't be! He yodeled again. And again. And yet again, but there was nothing but silence. All night he paced along the wall, waving the lantern and yodeling and praying that she would answer, pleading with his voice and heart for her to come through the fog and into his arms. Only she never did."

"Wh-what happened to her?" Brigitta asked, her voice trembling in suspense. Maria looked at each child as they sat frozen, hanging on her every word. Their eyes were wide and she could feel the youngest shaking as they cuddled closer to her. She swallowed nervously and finished the story.

"Well, um... they found her body in a ravine a half mile below," she said sadly. "And, uh... the lonely goatherd was utterly heartbroken. Every evening he could be heard yodeling for his lost love to come back. After he died, the villagers said they could still hear him and the mournful sound of yodeling echoing off the surrounding mountains. To this day, if there is fog and you stay very quiet and listen, you can hear it. Some even claimed to see strange lights floating high on the hill."

Maria could remember the thrill of being scared when she heard the folk tale as a child. But when she finished, the children sat in a kind of contemplative silence and she wondered if they expected more.

"What happened to the goats?" Marta asked. The question brought a smile to Maria's face. Her nieces were like that, so tenderheartedly hung up on the animals in their bedtime stories and completely missing the point.

"Oh, I'm sure they were fine," Maria said with a soft laugh. "They had lots of grass to eat on the mountain."

"But it was his job to take care of them," the little girl answered seriously. "Didn't he love them, too?"

"Well, I...," she said, taken aback. "I'm sure he cared about them very much, but-"

"No, he didn't," Lousia interrupted, slightly annoyed. "He probably didn't even notice if they wandered away. He was a very selfish man."

"It's just a story," Maria tried to reason but they weren't having any of it.

"The poor things," Gretl cried out, and soon Marta and Brigitta started to weep as well. Lousia hugged her knees and hid her face. Friedrich turned his back on everyone while Kurl and Liesl hung their heads. She wasn't sure what was happening, but the all the children seemed stuck on this particular point.

She barely began to sort it in her mind when the lights flickered and electricity was restored. "Oh, wonderful! The storm must have passed on through. Why don't we all go back to bed, hmmm? And tomorrow..." But they weren't listening to her anymore, so overcome by pity and sadness. She looked to Liesl for a clue to why her siblings were beyond consolation.

"Don't you get it?" The teenager practically shouted from her place at the foot of the bed and crossed her arms in agitation. "The goats needed him! Maybe they missed her too, but did he even think of that? No, and why should he? They're just stupid goats!" Her outburst only served to upset her siblings more and soon the sound of their cries were louder than the storm outside.

Her mind raced as she tried to understand. Perhaps a story about a lonely man losing the love of his life was above their emotional understanding... and then it hit her. It wasn't above their understanding at all. On the contrary, the story hit very close to their hearts. No wonder they sympathized with the little goats who were woefully ignored and neglected.

"Oh, Liesl," she said softly. "I wasn't thinking! Please, I didn't realize..."

"It's all right," Liesl frowned as she stood up and reached for Gretl. She nodded for all the others to come with her. "Let's go back to bed. Goodnight."

The children barely made it to the doorway when their father appeared. He noted their mood and tears and turned a stony face toward Maria. "What is the meaning of this? Why are they crying?" He turned an angry frown at the children. "Why are you even out of bed?"

Maria jumped to her feet to defend them. "Well, the storm frightened them and then the power went out," she explained, though she thought it should really be quite obvious. "As for why they're crying, I'm afraid the explanation for that is a bit more delicate, Captain." She turned toward the children and waved for them to go on back to their rooms. She figured she could check on them later.

Georg stepped closer and demanded an explanation.

"I told them a ghost story," she replied woefully. "I didn't mean to upset them, but-"

"I see," he interrupted. "Not only did you let them get out of bed, you decided to make sure they'll never get back to sleep."

"Let them? Captain! They were frightened by the thunder and lightening! I didn't think it would hurt to wait out the storm together."

"So," he countered in a strained voice. "They were so frightened that you told them a ghost story?"

"Yes, well, when you say it like that it does seem like a bad idea," Maria acknowledge but remained unapologetic. "But I think they are upset about something else, sir." She paused, wringing her hands as she tried to find the words to begin. Georg became impatient.

"Am I supposed to guess or are you going to tell me why my children are upset with you?"

"That's just it," she answered, her hands flailing at her side. "They aren't upset with me, they're upset with you."

"Me? You're going to blame me?"

"No! I don't mean to blame you, it's just... well, they need you, Captain. You hardly spend any time with them -" She was interrupted by a low frustrated growl.

"I can't spend time with them, that is why I hired you!"

" _Can't_ spend time with them? It's more like you _won't_ ," Maria shot back sharply, but then her face fell and her demeanor softened. The last thing she wanted was to get into a shouting matching. The matter was too important. "I know it was painful to lose your wife, but don't forget that they lost their mother." Georg bristled instantly but Maria didn't stop. She had already said too much. She took a deep breath and pushed on. "They need you, Captain. They lost their mother, but they feel like they lost you, too."

She waited for him to say or do something and after what seemed like many minutes of cold silence he finally spoke. "How long have you been in my employ, Maria? A week? Two? You know nothing about my life and I will not stand here and listen to you lecture me on grief. I get enough of that from Max and my housekeeper." He turned away and gave a cold laugh toward the ceiling. "One nanny that can follow rules, just one. Is that really so much to ask?"

"You're missing the point! I know it isn't easy to hear that your children are unhappy, but-"

"They were perfectly fine until you got here," Georg stated flatly. "We were fine."

"I don't think so, Captain."

"Maria..."

"You're in the same house with them everyday..."

"I'm warning you..."

"... you barely talk to them at mealtimes. You never say goodnight to them, or take them anywhere..."

"... not another word!"

"... don't you even care?!"

"ENOUGH!" He glared at her as he struggled to maintain composure. He closed his eyes briefly and then cleared his throat. "I don't think this is going to work. I'll compensate you for the time you've been here and for whatever other effort you've put in here. Franz will happily take you back where you came from first thing in the morning."

"Wait," Maria said, bewildered. "You're firing me? But the children-"

"I'll see to them," he sighed, making his way toward the door. "You can say goodbye in the morning. Right now you have packing to do."

 _TBC..._


	5. Liquor? I hardly know her

**Previously (because it's been that long)...**

" _ENOUGH!" He glared at her as he struggled to maintain composure. He closed his eyes briefly and then cleared his throat. "I don't think this is going to work. I'll compensate you for the time you've been here and for whatever other effort you've put in here. Franz will happily take you back where you came from first thing in the morning."_

" _Wait," Maria said, bewildered. "You're firing me? But the children-"_

" _I'll see to them," he sighed, making his way toward the door. "You can say goodbye in the morning. Right now you have packing to do."_

M&G&M&G&M&G&M&G

Georg was still stewing about the impudent little governess as he made his way down the hall toward the children's bedrooms. It wasn't just her disregard for his rules and expectations – though that was more than enough to get his blood simmering – it was also her unmitigated gall to imply that he was neglecting his children, that _he_ was the source of their unhappiness. It was utterly preposterous; he saw to their every need and they had abundantly more than most children.

He paused and looked back toward the room he had just left with a scowl. She had no idea how hard it was to keep everything together when every step forward was burdened by grief. He knew more than she did about his duty to them. A duty made so much harder now that he was doing it alone. It was exactly why he employed a nanny in the first place! Her job was to help, not distract with lectures on grief and stories that scarred them for life!

Just then he heard the muffled sound of crying coming from the youngest girls' room. Slowly he pushed open the door and peeked inside. He was dismayed to find his Marta sitting in the middle of her bed trembling with her tiny arms wrapped around her pillow. His daughter was struggling to control herself by muffling her tears against the pillow but it was obvious that she was losing the battle.

The door opened wider and he stepped inside the room. Marta looked up with a gasp, flung herself to the mattress and pulled the blankets over her head.

"Marta," he whispered. "Darling, why are you crying?" He waited a few seconds, reached out his hand and tentatively pulled back the blankets. The little girl stared up at him, her big brown eyes wet from crying and stricken with fear. "Please tell me. I'm not angry," he promised, and added under his breath, "Not at you anyway."

Marta said nothing. He ran his hand through his hair as he lowered himself to sit on the edge of the bed. "Please, darling, tell me what happened to make you so upset. You can tell me, no matter what it is." Finally she relented, pulled the pillow away from her face and wiped her eyes with the heels of her hands.

"There were goats," she began to explain between gulps of air.

"There is no such things as ghosts," he said as kindly as he could manage once reminded that this was all because of the stupid story.

"No, not ghosts, _goats_. And the goatherd used to love them but then he stopped, because...," Marta paused, her bottom lip disappearing behind her teeth to stop it from trembling. Georg pulled her onto his lap and soothingly rubbed her back as he waited for her to continue. "He didn't love them anymore because his wife died and all he could do was think about her. He forgot all about them."

He frowned deeper and deeper as she continued to explain the tale that was glaringly similar to his own. "I suppose he loved his wife very much and it made him very sad. But that doesn't mean he stopped caring about his goats. After all it was his job to take care of them."

"It's true," Marta insisted, new tears starting to well in her eyes. "He was called the lonely goatherd but he wasn't really lonely, he had them. They loved him, but he just ignored them! He didn't even care that they were sad, too. "

"I see," Georg said a bit too hotly, causing his daughter to whimper. He sighed and tried again. "Well, your Maria shouldn't have told you that story. It was very wrong of her."

"Oh, no, Father!" Marta cried, twisting in his lap to look him in the face. "We asked her to tell us a story! It's not her fault!"

"She should have told a different one," he reasoned, but Marta shook her head furiously.

"Please, Father, please don't blame her," Marta pleaded. "Please don't be angry and send her away. We love her!"

"Oh, erm, well..." Georg felt his mouth go dry. This was not good. "You know, perhaps we need a different kind of nanny, one that – "

"NO! I want Maria!" Marta began to cry in earnest. "I don't want to be like the goats again!"

"Oh, Marta," he winced as he pulled his daughter into his arms. The sight of his precious little girl so distraught put his heart in a vice. "But you're not like the goats at all! You're happy! We're all happy."

"But we're not," Marta cried pitifully. "Not without her."

It was becoming clearer by the minute that Maria had been right, that her story was not the real problem at all.

"Shh! All right, all right," he hushed his daughter, tossing a nervous glance at Gretl who stirred a bit at the sound of her sister crying. "Maria isn't going anywhere, ok? You'll see her in the morning and everything will be fine. Don't worry, I'm not angry at her." Each time he repeated these soothing words, his heart became heavier and heavier. She was right, had been right the whole time she tried to tell him, but he had stubbornly refused to listen. Now every word and accusation echoed in his daughter's tear-filled pleas.

Finally he felt the small body in his arms became heavy. He gently tucked her under covers, smoothed his hand over her hair and kissed her tenderly on the top of her head. He turned out the light and left her, praying that her dreams would be pleasant and that he could set things to rights before she woke up.

As soon as the door was shut, he made quick step towards Maria's room. He stood outside her door and knocked lightly.

"Maria? May I speak to you for a minute?" He waited and listened for any indication that he was heard. He knocked again after a minute of silence. He thought she might be asleep though the possibility seemed unlikely. He opened the door a few inches and called her again. A single light was burning from a corner in the room but there was no sound or movement. Finally he pushed it open all the way.

The room was much as it was when he left in a huff, only Maria was not there. He chanced a look in the wardrobe and saw that it was empty. All personal effects were gone from the dresser top. The only thing he found that indicated she had even been there was a note on the pillow. His lips tightened into a straight line as he read it, then he shoved it inside his jacket pocket and hurried down the stairs.

When he reached the bottom, he noticed his butler was removing his hat and coat as if he had just returned from somewhere.

"She told me you dismissed her," the butler replied wearily. "She requested a lift." Georg motioned for the man to put his coat back on and hurried toward the door.

"Take me to her," he stated urgently.

"But – " the butler began to protest. "But it's after midnight! And the storm has made quite a mess of the roads." He gestured feebly, hoping that his employer would take pity and change his mind about going anywhere.

"Please, Franz, I know it's a lot to ask. What if I give you Tuesday off to make it up to you?"

"Tuesday is always my day off," the butler intoned, unimpressed by the offer.

"I see," Georg replied with less patience. "How about this? Do it or you're fired." The two men stared at each other. Finally the butler blinked first.

"Dress warmly, sir," Franz muttered with a touch of sarcasm as he jammed his hat back on his head and moved toward the door. "Wouldn't want you to catch your death."

M&G&M&G&M&G&M&G

"Why are we stopping here?"

Georg looked out of the car window and stared at the dingy buildings that lined the littered sidewalk. Not that he had given the matter much thought, but Georg had assumed that Maria was from someplace in the country, or perhaps one of the mountain villages in the outskirts of the city. He was having a hard time believing that the woman who claimed to like daffodils, green meadows and skies full of stars in her online profile could survive a day in this questionable part of the city.

"This is where I brought her," the butler insisted. "I mentioned the late hour but she insisted she knew where she was and got out of the car."

Georg simply nodded. There wasn't much to look at except a small bar crammed in among the tenements and warehouses. The brick was cracked and the paint was peeling, but it seemed to do a fair business. A garish neon sign informed him that the place was called 'The Silly Whistle' which, no matter how many ways he tried to look at it, was the dumbest name he had ever heard.

As soon as he entered, he saw her sitting at the bar talking to a rather imposing woman standing on the other side drying glasses and putting them away. The older woman was the first to notice him staring at them.

"My arms don't reach that far if you're expecting me to serve you," she called to him as she stepped aside. Maria turned her head, doing a double take when she saw that it was him.

"YOU! What are you doing here?"

Georg recoiled at her angry tone. "I-I came to say that I'm sorry – "

"Oh? You're sorry? Why are you sorry? Sorry that I left before you had a chance to yell at me some more?"

"Uh, yes," he said, then shook his head. "No! I mean – "

"Or maybe you're sorry that I won't be around to take care of those children. Maybe you're sorry that you actually have to deal with the fact that you have children that need you." Maria spit the accusing words quickly, causing Georg's head to spin.

"No! I mean, Yes! I mean...," he took a deep breath. "I mean, I am sorry that you left and I am sorry that I fired you. I came here to tell you that I'm sorry for everything I said and to tell you that you were right, that you _are_ right." He paused and saw the look of apprehension and disbelief on Maria's face as he tried to explain. He took a step closer, desperate for her to understand. "I have neglected my children and ignored their unhappiness. I know why the story upset them!" he said, his voice getting louder and more desperate for her to understand with each sentence. "What I'm trying to say is that I get it now, I'M THE LONELY GOATHERD!"

The entire crowd stopped their conversations and turned to stare. Georg hung his head in his hands and groaned in embarrassment. Maria and the woman behind the bar looked at each other and burst into laughter. Soon the entire place was ringing with cheers at his expense.

"Here, Captain," the woman behind the bar grinned, placing a glass down in front of him. "I think you could use a drink."

"Thank you," he said quietly. He could feel the heat race from his toes to the top of his head, but he had to admit it was amusing and worth it to hear her laugh instead of chew him out. "Maria, I am sorry. About everything."

"I appreciate that, Captain. I do."

They sealed their truce with raised glasses. Georg drained his and placed it on the bar. He took a moment to look around. "Can I ask you a question?" Maria seemed to ponder it a moment before nodding. "What are you doing here? It's so late and... this place is so – "

"Captain, before you say anything, I'd like to introduce you to the owner of this fine establishment," Maria interrupted. She pointed to the older woman who was serving them. "This is my Aunt Berthe. And I would be careful what you say about it because she has been known to make burlier men than you kiss the floor."

Georg swallowed hard and looked over his shoulder at the floor. "This floor?" Maria nodded with a smirk. "I see. It's a very lovely place. Very... lovely." He gave a small laugh, but then lowered his head and looked at her with sincerity in his eyes. "Won't you come back?" With that, Maria's smile fell and she looked away.

"I don't think so," she said sadly. "The looks on their faces tonight... I hate that I made them so upset. I'm not sure I'm the person you need, Captain. Besides, they have you now, that's what you said."

"They do have me, but I need help," he said kindly. "Please?" But Maria was not convinced and sadly shook her head. "Do you at least have somewhere to go?"

"Oh, I'll probably go to back to my sister's house," she replied, then she gave him a wry laugh. "It's funny, you know. It wasn't even my idea to answer your email and I certainly didn't want to be a nanny. All I wanted to do that first night was go home. But then Max explained – "

Georg sat up straight, his brow creased in confusion. "Wait, what you do you mean you didn't want to be a nanny? What does Max have to do with it?" Maria's mouth open and shut as she panicked.

"Erm, I just mean that... um, things got off on such a bad note that I didn't think it was a good idea to take the job. But Max convinced me to give it a chance. That's what I meant."

"Oh," Georg nodded, though he sensed she wasn't being completely honest.

"But going home now, I don't know," she continued, leaning on the bar with her chin resting in one hand, twisting and turning the glass in the other. "I let the children down, I let myself down." By now she was becoming more and more despairing. "I let you down, Captain. Going home is failure. Still, I'm used to it. I'll be ok."

Georg pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her. "You are not the woman who arrived at my house and promptly shoved my fingers in my mouth in an attempt to teach me to whistle. You are not the woman who colorfully told me where to go mid-dinner. That woman wouldn't give up. No, that's just the booze talking."

"I beg your pardon," she sat up, eyes still dewy but now sparked with indignation. "I am not drunk."

"Right," he said. He turned toward Berthe and leaned in conspiratorially. "Nothing sadder than a drunk wallowing in self-pity."

"I just said I'm not drunk," she repeated through gritted teeth. "Besides, I could drink you under the table any day of the week and twice on Sunday, Captain. I'm practically immune to alcohol."

"Ha ha, no. I was a captain in the Royal Navy. I've steered ships through enemy waters nearly off my head," he explained casually. "You'd only embarrass yourself."

"I'd embarrass you, Captain." She slammed her glass on the bar and reached for the bottle sitting in front of her aunt. She poured until the small tumbler was nearly full and then tossed it all back in one swig. She glared at him as she wiped her lips with the back of her hand. Georg's jaw dropped but only for a second.

"I'll tell you what," he said, waving at the bottle. "We'll have a contest. If I win, which I will, you come back to the villa and be our nanny." Maria hiccuped as she contemplated the proposition.

"And if I win?"

"I'll pay for all your drinks." Georg cocked his head and raised a brow.

"You'll pay for them anyway," Berthe interjected, pulling the bottle away from Maria.

"All right," Maria said after a few seconds. "Let's do it." With a sigh, Berthe drew two shot glasses from under the counter. She poured the whiskey in one and pushed it across toward Maria. She filled the other from a different bottle and slid it toward Georg.

"Why did you do it that way?" he asked, staring at the amber liquid before him.

"It might be a little bit stronger stuff," Berthe said dismissively. "Maria is just a little slip of a thing, Captain."

"You're supposed to be on my side," Maria retorted.

"I am!" Berthe bit back sharply. "But who's going to be on my side when Abigail comes after me for being a part of this? That's what I want to know!"

"It's fine," Georg said picking up the glass. "Let's just get on with it. Shall I go first?" He drank the entire shot quickly. Suddenly he began to cough and sputter, staring wide-eyed at the older woman and then at the empty glass in his hand.

"Smooth, eh, Captain?" Berthe asked meekly, and Georg swore she was holding her breath.

He looked at Maria and then back at Berthe. "Um, yes," he said slowly. "Very."

Maria took her turn and they waited silently for their glasses to be refilled. They continued to drink until both had lost count of the number of rounds and then only a little while after that. Georg had to admit that he was impressed at how much she managed to put down, though she was starting to look a bit bleary. After the last shot of whiskey, he caught her as she started to fall backwards off the barstool.

"Maria, I think we need to stop," he said quietly. "You've had too much, it's not good for anyone to drink as much as that."

"D'you givvvvup?" she asked, the words sounding like they were leaving her mouth at the same time.

"No," he answered. "I feel fine."

"Well, I feel...," Maria stopped. "I feel..." She covered her mouth with her hand and closed her eyes. "I feel like I'm going to be sick." She braced herself with both hands against the bar and walked slowly toward the bathrooms.

Georg watched as she disappeared and then slowly turned to face the bar owner. Berthe avoided his eyes as she wiped down the counter. He cleared his throat and she finally looked up at him.

"You've been giving me tea."

"Oh, that," she laughed dismissively. "I had to make sure you won, didn't I?"

"But – "

"You want her to go back with you, don't you?"

"Yes, but – "

Berthe rolled her eyes. "But nothing! I'm sorry if my trick undermined your virility, Captain, but I'll remind you that the drinking was your idea. Stupid, really, when you both want the same thing." She softened at the stricken look on his face. "Look, Captain, Maria wouldn't know a second chance if it bit her nose, that's how seldom she gets them. What is worse, she lacks the confidence to take them when they do come along."

"I understand," he said resignedly. "And you're right. That is what I want, for her to come back. My children adore her and she's been a tremendous help to us. To me." Berthe was pleased to hear this. She came out from behind the bar carrying Maria's suitcase and guitar. She handed it to him as if passing on her complete trust with it. She was about to say some words to that effect when Maria slowly made her way back looking completely wrung out.

"Well, Captain, I guess you won," she said quietly. "If it's all right with you, I think I would like to go now. This night and the whiskey has definitely caught up with me." She hugged her aunt and bid her farewell. Georg gave her a quick bow of thanks and said goodnight. It wasn't exactly how he thought the evening would go, but the end result was all that matter. The children would see their beloved Maria in the morning.

Just then Maria started to weave and he quickly transferred the guitar to the same hand carrying the guitar so he could wrap an arm around her waist and help her stay upright.

Or maybe, he thought, they will have to wait until afternoon to see her.

M&G&M&G&M&G&M&G

The sky was starting to become lighter by the time they arrived back home. Georg managed to get both him and Maria into the house by his own steam but just barely. When the bleary-eyed butler dropped the baggage by the door and stormed straight toward his quarters, Georg decided it wasn't worth his life to request he return and carry Maria's things to her room. He would deal with that later. He had all he could manage to help a drunk Maria put one foot in front of the other.

"Isss sush a lovely home," she said, her voice slurring from the effects of alcohol and need for sleep.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

"Isss beautiful," she continued as she yawned. Together they trudged up the first set of stairs. "And my bed isss comfy. You should s-sleep in m'bed sometime."

"Not tonight," he grunted as he pulled more than pushed her up the last step. "But thanks."

When they finally reached her room, Maria paused at the threshold and stared inside. She began to sniff. "They were s-so s-sad. They ha-hate me now."

"No one hates you, Maria, you'll see," Georg answered gently, helping her step into the room. "You'll see tomorrow that everything is fine." He led her toward the bed and slowly lowered her to sit on the edge. "Now... as much fun as this has been, I'm going to trust you to get yourself under the covers, OK?" Maria nodded, making a face at the way the gesture made her head spin. She closed her eyes and gracelessly fell backwards across the mattress. "That will have to do." He kept an eye on her as he crossed the room toward the bathroom. He fetched a glass of water and put it on the nightstand, turned down the light and tiptoed out of her room.

A minute later, Maria bolted upright and looked toward her pillow. She fumbled through the blankets, then dropped to her knees and searched under the bed. She groaned in defeat, and then dropped back across the bed and fell fast asleep.

In his room, Georg undressed quickly in the hopes of catching more than just a little sleep before the entire household was awake. He shed his jacket and tossed it across the chair carelessly when he saw the note that he had found in Maria's room fall out. He picked it up and read it again.

 _Dear Captain,_

 _You are an idiot._

 _Sincerely, Maria_

With an amused but tired grin, he placed it by his bed and finished preparing for bed.

 _ **I don't own The Sound of Music or these characters. I just like to torture them for my own pleasure, and maybe yours (though I'm not sure... leave a review and let me know for sure. *smiley face* )**_


	6. Three can keep a secret if two are dead

"Oh, help," Maria mumbled in a hoarse whisper. Her tongue felt like wool and she couldn't move a single muscle, not even to open her eyes. Even her brain refused to cooperate. She could only recall wisps of memory from the night before; her Aunt Berthe, being in a car... a strong arm wrapped around her waist. Her ears, however, worked fine. Too fine, as if they were compensating for what little her other senses could manage.

"Who," she asked, swallowing the evil feeling in her mouth. "Why... birds... too loud. Get them out... my room." There was a buzzing, too, loud and coming from all parts of the room. "Bees... stop the bees."

Finally she managed to bring a heavy hand to her face, rubbed the numbness out of her cheeks and opened her eyes. It took her a few minutes to recognize where she was.

"Oooh," she moaned as she forced herself to sit up. She blinked a few times and then reached toward the wall, fumbling at the curtain tie until it dropped to the floor and the thick fabric fell across the blinding sunlight. The buzzing started again, this time louder and closer. She closed her eyes and held her head, prayed for death. Well, no, she thought, not death. She wasn't a coward. But she decided she wouldn't mind a very deep coma.

She tried again when the buzzing stopped, looked around slowly. Her eyes landed on the glass of water by her bed. She slid herself toward it, grabbed it with a trembling hand and gulped it down. As she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, the buzzing started again, a frantic rattle against wood coming from the nightstand.

She squinted at her phone and saw that she had several texts from her sister.

 _aunt b said you ran away call me pls xx_

 _call me k? xx_

 _are you dead call me!_

 _maria pls call me pls! xx_

With a groan she pressed the call back and listened as the sounds of her phone ripped through her head. She remembered running away, that much was certain, and she could recall seeing her Aunt Berthe at some point. After that, however, was a blank.

"What's going on with you?" Her sister screamed into the phone without a single word of greeting.

"H-hey," Maria mumbled. "Nothing, I promise. I'm just... I don't feel good so could you maybe, uh, not shout?"

"I'll shout if I want," her sister hissed, though it was mercifully in a much softer tone. "Berthe said you left her place drunk out of your mind. Care to explain?"

"Yeah, well, I wish I could but I can't seem to recall anything. I mean, I know where I am now but how and why is a mystery." Maria exhaled slowly.

"Berthe said you were fired but that your Captain came to fetch you back."

"He's not my captain," Maria moaned as she rubbed her left temple. "What else did she say?"

"That you drank like a fish, that there was some kind of drinking contest," Abigail replied. "Then you left with him."

"That sounds stupid enough to be true," Maria mumbled as she sat up and concentrated on that thought. Was she back because she won or because she lost?

"How could you be so reckless? Don't you know what could have happened to you?"

"Nothing happened to me," Maria snapped. "I'm still wearing my clothes. I'm alone, sitting here on my own bed." Bed... bed... why did her bed seem relevant? And a bumpy car ride and the smell of sandalwood and the feel of soft twill against her cheek.

"People say and do all kinds of outrageous things when they're drunk," Abigail continued as if she hadn't even spoken.

"I do that when I'm sober," Maria bit back. "That's how I got fired."

"It's just so unlike you, Maria."

"But getting fired is very like me, right?" Maria exhaled slowly and dropped her forehead into her hand. "Look, I appreciate that you're worried but nothing happened." Nothing ever happens to me, she thought uneasily.

"Maria," Abigail's tone became gentler, almost sad. "I've been thinking and maybe it was wrong of me to push you into this situation. You didn't ask for it and it happened so suddenly. You tried, that is all anyone can ask of you. Maybe you should come home. No one will think badly of you if you just quit."

Quit. Maria swallowed the bitterness that word and her hangover left in her mouth. "I don't want to quit."

"But – "

"I can't quit. The children, Abigail, don't you see? I can't be just another person who has let them down. And if I were to be honest, I'm tired of letting myself down, of letting everyone down." She paused. "I'm fine. Please don't worry. I have to go, I have a headache and smell like Aunt Berthe after closing time."

"Sounds very unpleasant," Abigail chuckled softly. "Serves you right. Please call me later, ok? Love you."

"I promise. Love you, too," Maria said softly before hitting the button and tossing her phone onto the bed behind her.

M&G&M&G&M&G&M&G

A hot shower and the strongest cup of coffee she could beg off the cook in the kitchen helped Maria feel well enough to face the rest of the day. She was surprised no one had come searching for her, even to check her pulse and see that she was still part of the living.

"Good morning, Maria," a friendly voice greeted her. Max smiled at her as he left the sitting room, a newspaper tucked under his arm. "Good to see you upright and moving forward." Then he leaned closer with a conspiratorial wink. "I've been there, my dear, and can't say I've managed it looking as lovely as you."

"I think I drank enough that my grandchildren will be born drunk," she muttered, adjusting the dark glasses she put on before leaving her room. "But thanks for the compliment, I think. Where is everyone?"

"Georg recruited his children to give the gardener a hand cleaning up after the storm," Max explained. "The man is older than the dirt he works in, but Georg keeps him around. And the children are having a good time, I think, if the laughter is any indication." Maria looked toward the terrace doors that were open wide and could hear the faint sound of the children outside.

"I should probably go see them," she mumbled, but something seemed to keep her from moving her feet. Max chuckled as he read her mind.

"He's out there with them." Max gave her arm a gentle tap. "I dare say he's laughing too. He's not angry with you so you don't have to worry."

For some reason, Maria wasn't worried about that. Somehow she knew he wasn't angry, that they had come to a kind of understanding. What bothered her were the short flashes of the previous night teasing her, brief memories of him holding her, helping her... smiling at her while the scent of his cologne filled her senses. Before she let herself get too carried away with those images, she turned toward the door and slowly made her way outside. She could ask him what happened, of course, but she dreaded that idea.

The air was fresh and clean after the storm. Maria ventured to the balustrade at the edge of the terrace and located her charges. The boys were raking leaves and debris while the girls hauled sticks and small branches that the wind had torn down toward a large pile. She scanned the scene for their father, jumping when he suddenly appeared next to her.

"Good afternoon," he said cheerily and a tad too loud. She was sure he did that on purpose.

"Captain," Maria mumbled, offering a weak smile.

"How are you feeling?"

"Not great."

"No? Tsk, too bad. There's an ancient cure that says you should work up a sweat, then you lick your skin and spit it out. You know, to get the evil alcohol out of your system."

Maria turned and stared at him long and hard. "Does it work?"

Georg laughed. "No. But you could grab a rake and find out for sure." He could tell she was glaring at him from behind her dark glasses and it caused him to smile wider. He lowered himself to rest on the balustrade and glanced out over the grounds. Maria followed where he was looking and couldn't help but smile.

"They're doing a chore and having fun," she commented. "How did you manage that?"

"I promised to take them out for some ice cream after," he said. "It was so simple, really. I could probably tell them I'll explain the inner workings of a clock and they'd be pleased, that's how very little attention they've come to expect from me."

"Still, kudos for going with ice cream," she joked. "It's a start, Captain. You'll get there." He nodded and they fell into a comfortable silence.

"You're welcome to join us," he finally spoke. Sadly for Maria the thought of eating anything made her stomach flip.

"Uh, no, I don't think I could," she answered, putting a hand to her stomach. "Thank you anyway." Georg nodded knowingly.

"I have to say, I was very much impressed last night. Franz drove like a madman but you didn't heave once. You just curled up and fell asleep."

Maria could feel the heat in her cheeks. In a way she was glad he mentioned the previous night first. "Did I? I'm afraid I don't really remember much of what happened." She tried to concentrate when a thought hit her. "Wait, I curled up and slept? Please tell me I didn't..." She swallowed hard. This was embarrassing.

"Put your head in my lap?" he finished the question for her. "Yes. Yes, you did."

"Oh," she moaned. That explained the soft twill against her cheek, anyway. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the rest but... in for a penny, in for a pound. "Uh, Captain? Did I say anything?"

"Lots of things."

"No, I mean did I say anything like... oh, you know, the kind of thing that could be taken the wrong way?"

"You mean, did you, um, suggest something?" He smiled a little as he said it, recalling her slurred offer to sleep in her bed. He knew it was an innocent comment when she said it. He didn't know her very well, though after the night before he was learning quite a lot. One thing he had come to understand about her, however, was that whatever she said, drunk or sober, was exactly what she meant.

"I did, didn't I?" She winced and began to feel her headache throb behind her eyes. "Go on. I'm sure you're dying to tell me."

Georg ducked his head and smirked. "Well, you suggested I should... try something."

Maria's mind worked hard to remember. Suddenly the weird thought about her bed niggled at the back of her mind again. "Uh, try what exactly?" she ask nervously.

It was unkind considering her condition, but he couldn't resist a bit of fun. He cleared his throat. "Skydiving."

"Oh, Captain, I am so embarrassed, I – what?"

"You suggested we should try skydiving."

"I did? Are you sure?"

"Quite sure," he nodded. "I was surprised, really, you don't strike me as a thrill seeker."

"Oh, I... well, I'm not," she answered, still confused. "Skydiving?"

"Don't worry, I didn't take you seriously, I mean... you were drunk and it's not like you probably suggest, uh, skydiving very often."

"What? No! It's silly," she said. "I mean, I've seen people do it and I'm sure it would quite exhilarating, but... I don't know the first thing about it. I would probably die on the very first try."

Georg coughed and shifted uneasily. "Maria, I'm teasing you, you didn't suggest skydiving. You needn't worry about the things you said."

"But I did say things," she sighed, running a hand over her throat and wincing. "And I wrote things. I, uh, suppose you found my note?"

"Note?" he asked, feigning ignorance. "What note?" Maria didn't answer. He exhaled as he stood up. "Look, whatever was or wasn't said last night, it all worked out. You're back and my children don't hate me. I have a long way to go to make it up to them, but we're on our way, thanks to you." He stepped closer and gently pulled the sunglasses off her face. She blinked a few times but then focused on his deep blue eyes. "I mean it, Maria. Thank you."

"Glad to help, sir," she replied with a smile. Georg handed her the glasses and turned to walk away.

"Take care of that hangover, though. Drink some more water and go back to bed," He instructed loudly over his shoulder as he trotted down the steps. After a short pause he hollered. "Your _comfortable_ bed."

M&G&M&G&M&G&M&G

On his way to locate his brood, he came across his daughter Marta looking rather downcast as she made her way back to the house. He suspected that her mood had something to do with the fact that she was covered in dirt.

"My, my what's happened to you?" he asked her. She turned her grubby face toward him.

"Kurt pushed me," she whined. "And I didn't do anything to him."

"Nothing at all?"

Marta hung her head as she weighed the benefit of being honest, then she looked up again and grinned. "I might have called him a not so nice word."

"Hmmm. Before or after he pushed you?" her father asked, placing a gentle hand on her head and guiding her along the path back to the house.

"Maybe both." Marta giggled as his scowl slowly became a low chuckle.

He led her into the nearest bathroom and went about the task of getting her cleaned up, listening to her recount her activities of the morning. Soon he stood behind her and looked at her in the mirror and declared her clean.

"Father! You missed a spot!" Georg gasped and grabbed the cloth and quickly scrubbed at her cheek.

"Oh, Marta, that's just your dimple! I'm afraid that won't wipe off."

"Nooo! My nose!" He squinted as he inspected her again and tapped the tip of her nose that was still covered in dust.

"Oh, that! I thought it was a good look for our outing to the ice cream shop," he rubbed her nose again with the cloth.

"Oh, no Father," Marta said seriously and quite dramatically. "That would be too hu-hum-humiliating!" Georg laughed.

"That's a pretty big word for such a little girl! Where did you hear it?"

"Maria said it," she said matter of fact.

"When? Today?" He was pretty sure he had successfully kept his children away from their nanny so she might suffer her hangover in peace.

"No, when she was talking to Uncle Max," she said, then frowned. "That night when I threw up all over you."

Georg lifted her into his arms and kissed her forehead. "You couldn't help it, Marta. There's no need to feel humiliated."

"I don't," she insisted. "She wasn't talking about me. She was talking about you. She didn't want you to know about the website."

"The website?" He felt his heart start to pound. What _kind_ of website? What incredible fact was he about to learn about his nanny now?

"I don't know," Marta put a finger to her chin and she tried to remember. "But Uncle Max said that you found her there."

"Ah, I see," he said with some relief. "What else did Uncle Max say?"

"Just that you wanted her to be the nanny," she said with a shrug. "I think she was surprised about that part."

He became pensive as he set his daughter on the floor and watched her skip away.

M&G&M&G&M&G&M&G

Later that night, after the children had gone to bed and the house was quiet, Georg sat staring at his computer. Something was gnawing at his brain, something Maria had said at the bar. Her comment about being a nanny had seemed off and it was only made more so by his daughter's story earlier. He couldn't work it out, though, try as he might, and was about to forget about the whole thing when there was a knock on his study door.

"I know you keep the best whiskey in here," Max said as he made a beeline toward the bar. He noticed his friend staring at a blank computer screen. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing really," Georg muttered, as he turned away from his desk and waited for Max to settle in the chair across from him. "Well, not nothing, and actually you could help me. What was the name of that website we used to find Maria?"

What little color Max usually had drained from his face as he coughed and sputtered the sip of his drink. "W-why would you need that? I thought Maria was working out fine." He sat up straight and dabbed at the drop of whiskey that fell on his tie.

"Oh, she is," Georg readily agreed. "The storm last night was the final push my gardener needed to consider retirement and since we had success with it before – " He stopped short. He had never known his friend to be nervous about anything and yet he was clearly uneasy discussing the website. "What is it? You look like as tight as a rubber band."

Max finished his drink and exhaled loudly. "Oh, I'm not," he insisted. Georg narrowed his eyes at Max. He didn't believe him for a second but he decided to let the matter drop.

"Ok, so... the website?"

"Who has gardeners these days? I thought you just kept him on for some sentimental reason."

"Well, I'm not going to hire a full time gardener, I thought I would see if I could find some kind of service that will come once a week."

"Your children did most of the work and all they need for payment is ice cream," Max suggested with a nervous laugh. He seemed unable to stop the flood of nonsense coming out of his mouth. "Think of the money you'll save."

"The name of the website, Max," Georg asked again, more than curious by then.

"I, uh... I don't remember, really." Max stood up quickly and returned his glass to to the bar and rubbed his mustache anxiously. "My, is that the time? I think I'll say goodnight, then. I'm feeling rather tired and, uh... goodnight."

Georg watched his friend escape the room as fast as he had ever seen the man move. Things were getting stranger by the minute and it all had to do with Maria and that blasted website. He would get to the bottom of it if he had to sit there all night. He sat back with a heavy sigh and closed his eyes.

He recalled the desperation that led to searching the internet for a nanny, considered the stroke of luck that they were able to find Maria's profile almost immediately. The rest happened quickly, too, a couple emails back and forth and voila! There she was, turning his home and his life totally upside down. He had been skeptical at the start, with her youth and her cheeky defiance but now he was glad she was the one he found.

Then it hit him. Their emails! He could just find their correspondence and get the name of the website from one of the emails. With a few clicks of the mouse, he found what he wanted. Smiling, he opened his browser and began to type.

" _Fine... Someone...Now_ ," he practically sang the words as he pecked at the keyboard. He rubbed his fingers against his chin as the page loaded. His eyes scanned it quickly. His eyes caught a few words... _fast and forever, waiting for you, romance..._ He blinked a few times at what he was reading. Romance?

The site asked if he was looking for a man or a woman, and his smile slowly faded. He let the mouse hover over the male icon option and little blue hearts float across the screen. He watched pink hearts float from the female icon when he moved the mouse once again. He cautiously clicked and suddenly he was staring at the smiling face of a woman.

"Why, this is...," he scrolled down for a few seconds and then sat up in utter shock. He knew exactly what it was.

An hour and a half later, after scrolling countless profiles while drinking an unknown amount of alcohol, Georg finally admitted what he knew deep down; Max, his infuriating and meddlesome friend, had played a trick. He wanted to be angry and to be sure, he was. It was one thing for Max to play stupid cupid, but his children had been dragged into it and that was just unacceptable.

But for some reason his anger couldn't take hold. Maria was exactly what they needed.

And what about Maria? His conversation with his daughter seemed to indicate that Maria had also been a victim of Max's little joke. What he couldn't understand is why she went along with it in the end. Probably because she couldn't bring herself to turn her back on seven pitiful children so woefully neglected by their miserable father, he thought ruefully. She was too kind and selfless. And sweet. And pretty.

Those last thoughts made him ask the biggest question of all; why was someone like Maria looking for romance on a website anyway?

Then again, he thought as his focus returned to the computer screen, it seemed half the free world was looking for love on the internet. People from all walks of life were lonely and desperate enough, he surmised. Never in a million years would he consider Maria lonely or desperate. He scrolled and clicked the mouse for the umpteenth time that night.

"Look at this one," he scoffed aloud to an imaginary audience. "She's a smoker, likes champagne and grand and glorious parties, plays the harmonica... wait, what?" He squinted his eyes at the monitor, his mouth dropping open in shock. "Well, I'll be... this is quite interesting." He stared at it a bit longer and then reached for his cell phone. A few swipes and scrolls later, he sat back with a grin.

"Elsa, my dear! How would you like to be my new gardener?"

" _Georg? Are you drunk?"_

He laughed out loud. "Probably, and I'm joking, I don't need a gardener. But I could use your help with something else."

 _tbc..._

 _ **Thanks for the reviews, I don't deserve all of you! I'd love to hear what you think happens next. Mostly because I have no idea, not really. This story, man...**_

 _ **I don't own The Sound of Music, the characters or the FindSomeoneNow domain. If there is one.**_


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